I will miss you soon.
I'm entering my third month of being unemployed and fighting off some feelings that I am a lazy, no good leach who has nothing better to do than sleep in every morning and spend too many hours per day reading food blogs. Which is only half of the truth, I guess. I have been making tons of food (Boston Cream Pie for Gabe's birthday, Hazelnut Brown Butter cake for Patrick's, Hazelnut chocolate chip cookies, Nikki's "healthy" cookies, plenty of soup and polenta and things), I started a yoga class this week, called about volunteering at a women's health clinic (which was terrifying for me with my non-existent French skills), did like 5 loads of laundry, swept the floor every day, trained Aikido every day, wrote some letters, read some (real) books, spent some time doing my "teach yourself french" exercises and got going on starting the Montreal Dinner Party (email me if you like food and want to join)...
You see, I am not really being a slug, but why does it feel so dirty to me? I have never had a period of time where I wasn't in school or didn't have a clear plan of action for obtaining a new job, so this just feels a little new. Don't get me wrong, it isn't bad, but I constantly have that little voice in the back of my head telling me "You suck. Get a job, loser." Seriously, voice. Get a life. I want to enjoy this time while I have it.
That being said, I did have an interview on Monday at Concordia University, and I am pretty sure they are going to hire me, but I am not sure if I want to take the position. I am considering going back to school next fall, and the job is an HOUR each way from where I live. I don't know about you, but commuting for two hours every day just seems unacceptable. Besides, I am not happy being a scientist anymore and I am finding it difficult to keep pretending. Money-wise I am okay...I could easily live for a year off of my unemployment/savings (if I can manage to collect all of it), which I don't think is wrong, but again that voice starts nudging in..."Loser!"
So this is my dilemma. Any insights?
2 comments:
I also do not have any clear plans of job-ness for when I get back from Israel, and I'm freaking out a bit... but I think we both just need to relax and realize that as long as we're putting energy out into the universe for what we want in life, it will respond in kind. it always has, i think for both us. i love you. enjoy life right now! this is exciting! i wish i was there to hug you and eat your scrumptious treats...
you know I have been unemployed for the last month or month and a half, it is kinda nice. I also feel the feelings of lazy-dom, feeling like I should be more productive... I think of it this way, I will work my whole life. Now I get to do this. I just wish I was taking (and posting) as many pictures as you :']
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